Thursday October 6th 2022 - Time to Man Up...
As I worked on this website design this morning I addressed my projects. I have a myriad of areas I've been working on. They all can be sold as having merit. I can flit from one to the other never having to finish any. So I have created a perfect World of Avoidance that I can rationalise and intellectualise and enjoy being in writing and designing away. Or stand in frustration trying to learn how to do Chron jobs to clean a Wordpress site or pay for the privilege of having that done!
Meanwhile, I earn no money and stand on the track as the train approaches. Some hope of something working driving me on...
And much is ready, or very nearly ready. Not having it completely ready the excuse for not sharing. The issue is one of courage. To commit, to make it happen. To let my abilities and full force be focussed on creating that BIG SHOW and risking stepping into something that makes me uncomfortable - yet will be, I can see it - absolutely brilliant.
I have created The Perfect World of Avoidance.
And words are critically important. So who am I in owning up to my real goal? And casting pearls before the swine of the internet mockers is not, perhaps, the best place to share.
Over fifteen years ago my first post said - I'm starting to move into music. The first comment "Nicky, spare us from this." So I turned the Blog off and went underground.
Wild goose chases and sometimes making progress has followed. A journey that has birthed songs along the way. And I persist.
A HUGE SHOW - DANCING ON ICE
The picture above shows my son leaving The Manchester Evening News Arena in Manchester, England. I had just been Judging in a Dancing On Ice Show starring Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean. It was a full house fuelled by the TV Series of the same name. I also Judged on this. We were famous to the part of the population that switched on to reality TV. At one point that was twelve million of the sixty million across the UK.
I did not enjoy the role of Judge but I loved every aspect of the Show Business it funded and fuelled. And I loved many of the Show Folk I worked with, it was a privilege to be a part of such a professional team. One 'six pack weekend' in Manchester (my home town) saw six sold out arena shows as a part of the tour. It was immense, a testimony to Chris and Jayne and their team, to ITV and to Phil McIntyre's organisation as well as the cast and crew of the show. To be a part of something that big a great experience.
At the end of the show I had a little skate on the ice once almost everyone had left. It was cool to skate in an arena again, I always love the atmosphere after the crowd has gone.
MY BIG SHOW?
So I have seen and been in some Huge Shows in my time and competed on a big stage. I have also busked, played coffee shops with lousy sound systems and Theatre and Corporate settings. So I've experienced some of what works and some of what doesn't.
And I was reminded yesterday of how we speak makes a critical difference. Words have tremendous power. If we speak from vulnerability we are vulnerable. At times that is OK, providing we are in a safe place with our comrades/friends. However, it is not wise to be vulnerable as the enemy approaches, for they will kill you.
The internet is the battlefield.
So do I take my journey behind the scenes here? Solely process in DREAMTRYB with those who wish to share this journey and support it? Then the music will speak.
The Big Show? - No no, let's be clear. It's all about - THE BIG SHOW
I like the idea of writing the Book of the journey - THE BIG SHOW, as a diary. Starting today.
The questions for that epistle to answer is 'Do I have the bottle to commit to it, find the discipline needed to deliver and stay the course?'
My friend Terry had his boat moored in the lake on a buoy. He would swim out to untie it at the start of the season. The water was freezing. He now has a beautiful dock. I asked him how he did it back in the day? Perhaps, in part it's because he's from Alberta his response was:
You just Man Up.
Prompt for me...
And I edit this 20th October... 14 days later - still not focused and writing about the same issues. Doh...