• NMS

FEAR OF SUCCESS

Updated: Nov 17

This may be the start of a series of thoughts on this subject. It's navel gazing and therapy combined I think. Ignore and move on if you can just do stuff. This would be a nightmare for you.




My story has been, I can't complete. but that's innaccurate. I complete lots of things. But are they the right things against THE PLAN. What's THE PLAN, THE GOALS, THE DEADLINES. I manage so that I don't have these as I have missed so many high goals set in the past by me for me. So I got bored of setting goals I would not achieve. I also hated the accountability and fought against it... With myself! Nuts, and that's how it is.

So I think this is not about 'me' learning to be getting things done. More than that it's about getting THE RIGHT THINGS done.

Often those things that I don't want to do have a challenge attached I want to avoid. So I make excuses, consciously and subconsciously. Also, whilst I say I want to be on the stage performing there is no one to help make that possible, work with to make it reality and... It's not scary, it's just I allow everything to get in the way of CREATING THE ACT as a finished product.


JUST DO IT


Some friends have given up on me ever releasing anything of the work I develop. People have died along this journey and never heard stuff I make. It is never quite good enough.


ON THE MUSIC SIDE OF THINGS


I have a block on committing to completing - I just nearly finish... then create more... As I write I realise that the 'pain' to come is that it exposes me to critique and -


Until I am sure my work is as good as I can make it. I don't want to share.

And I want it to compete at top level. Which for me, is a lot of work.


My fallbacks are: (1) good is not good enough in the music business and (2) you get one chance to make a first impresion and (3) it takes a lifetime of work to be an overnight sensation.


In the meantime people are out there doing it half right, learning and getting better and sometimes - even half right is better than silence! Energy makes a difference E=MC²