My boy is fourteen. Since his birth his Daddy has been struggling to find his way and get things produced. Why? Perhaps because: (1) I didn't have the competence to deliver (2) I didn't want to spend to get things produced and trust others (I had no idea this was a cost effective way of getting things done) and (3) I wasn't quite sure of how my voice and tracks should sound? I knew the songs were good but I was not used to singing and playing in front of crowds. I had the crazy dream of being a singer songwriter and making my living at it but I sang out of tune and couldn't play the guitar, piano or gazou. And finally (4) I do it all alone and deep down I was afraid of sharing. The dream was fragile, easily quashed. It was ridiculous back then, perhaps more so now!
So I do 'in order to' - in order to - put off having to do that...
TWO PERSON STRATEGY
The strategy, back then - and today - was to become two people: (1) The Producer as enabler setting up the artist to play and (2) The Artist. But I'd never thought of myself as an Artist. How do you do and be that? What is it? I'd been the producer, in order to be in the show.
A lack of confidence and competence allied to a sensitive soul (great for songwriting and and a help for performance but rubbish for dealing with the mockers) had me hide away.
BRIGHTON TO IPSWICH
Since being born in Brighton my son has seen me on TV, on arena stages and spent ten years of his life in a tiny flat. He didn't know it was tiny of course and it had a great view over the car park to the docks in Ipswich, England while I was on National TV! Madness. I blame Christiane my wife. I wanted a studio so she found one in Ipswich under a flat. We went for a year. We stayed for ten. Meanwhile our Brighton apartment looking over the sea was rented out. We met great people in Ipswich, our son had a great school, the parks are great. And, in Brighton I could have gone around the corner to the Rock School and done courses. Courses my son now does in Canada! But I thought I was too old and didn't have the courage to go and ask if I could learn there. All the people coming out were young. Over fifteen years ago that was.
In Ipswich downstairs I developed and built - with a couple of friends help - a huge studio. Well 30 ft by 12 feet with a twelve foot ceiling height and ice rink floor and the probably the biggest grey screen reflective canvas in Europe. (I bought it direct from China). Broadcast camera and all the bits.
After ten years building it was used three times and we left for Canada. A story in the why of this to be processed and the learning to be gained.
All this then to set up for my son's comment this morning.
JUST SAY
So this morning... I was explaining about this site and the need for pithy explantion of a business mission. And...
My son said: "Daddy, you have a Masters in Marketing. Just tell people -
You are making music to make people happy.
if you had just done that instead of everything else you would be doing it by now."
There you go... wise boy. All part of the journey.